ultrasbz

All of the above are possible to set in the Deye, and then some.
As for the comment below about point 4, it is possible to set your battery to export to the grid if  you choose the mode "Selling First" and use it in conjunction with the the "Time of Use" timer settings. If you don't want this, use "Zero Export to Load(or CT)" with Solar Sell box ticked. You'll sell solar power, but no battery power..
 
I would still suggest putting your larger loads on non-essential loads, because then you can supply to all loads in the house up to the maximum load capacity of the house, for example a 63A circuit breaker, blending grid and solar power. If you put all on essential loads, you are limited to the pass-through current that the inverter allows. I'd say not to be tempted to exclude the fitment of the CT coil.
Maybe you've got it the wrong way around regarding the power flow before adapting to force zero usage. The point is to zero the current that is flowing out of the house, not inwards, in other words, if your solar can generate 5kW duing the day, or for the matter the battery can supply 5kW at night, but your load is 4kW, then it will scale back the production to just what you need. You can in any case reduce the Zero-export value to 0 if you'll be exporting to the grid, and so save on the consistent small draw.
In a hybrid grid-tied system like this I think you need to make peace with frequently trading some amounts of power, either for short transient periods as your load level changes, or otherwise for longer bouts of bad weather.